Learn from those who show the way

 

If you can relate as well as GOOGLE, you will make – well – not a lot of money, but maybe a lot of ‘I love you honey’. Google has the ideal relationship; people love it, and can’t get enough of it. Wouldn’t you like that for your own life?

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Wouldn’t you love to save your marriage by relating like GOOGLE?How has GOOGLE become so popular, and what could GOOGLE’s behaviour teach you about relationship.

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Let’s head back in time to see how GOOGLE began life in the mid 1990’s. Two smart graduates of Stanford University recognised the huge potential of the still relatively small world wide web. They recognised that there must be a way of getting to what you were wanting on the web without having to trawl through poorly designed websites and lots of inferior ideas and products. These two recognised that there must be a way of finding out what people were wanting, who was delivering the best product, and how to match these up. How well do you investigate what your partner is wanting from the relationship s/he has with you? Do you know what their most essential needs are?

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• Fundamentally, this is what GOGGLE is still good at, and makes billions of dollars from doing. The originators of GOOGLE created an algorithm, basically a mathematical formula or two, which was able to do the task just described. Their intention was to tune into what humans were wanting, and help them find it. In essence, they were helping people get their needs met, but in ways that most couples DO NOT do for each other. They were providing free internet advice just as this site offers free relationship advice. They understood diiferences between people, and honoured these. Relationship counsellors do the same, and during couples’ therapy, help their clients to save their marriage through understanding and accepting each other’s needs.

 

• Secondly, GOOGLE made no judgments about who was wanting what. They supported anyone and everyone to get whatever they wanted. So the first step in their success was simply to take notice, and measure, what it is people are wanting, without any judgement as to whether this was good for people or otherwise, or what the consequences would be. They allowed market forces to dictate who wanted what, and simply helped deliver what was wanted to those who wanted it from those who had it to offer. You can do the same in your couple relationship by accepting your partner’s view of reality, honouring it, and working with it, instead of trying to change it, or getting angry because they have their own way of doing things.

 

• Thirdly, GOOGLE recognised that in a totally free market, people will not only determine what their own needs, wants and desires are, but that each of these is a moving target. Tastes, opportunities, fashions, products, and people change. GOOGLE has reinvented itself over and over to meet the changes that its customers want. To begin with, the founders could not see how they could make money, and indeed did not want to get caught up in commerce. However, developments forced them to not only change, but embrace what people were wanting from the web and help sellers and buyers to come together in more and more efficient ways. Similarly, you can communicate effectively with your partner by listening attentively to how they are reinventing themselves, and support that. Relationships, especially the relationship with GOOGLE, are never static. So allow your partner to reinvent themselves, but listen to how that affects you, and what new needs, wants and desires this relationship change creates within you. Embrace the new as GOGGLE does, flow with it, makes the most of it. Certainly don’t wrong it, or you’ll find yourself paddling against the current.

 

• Finally, GOOGLE found that people wanted stuff for free before or in conjunction with buying, and so GOOGLE now prioritize content, quality and activity. They even provide free services of their own in order to ‘capture’ the market – everything from free email services to information on how GOOGLE itself prioritizes websites. This places demands on websites to offer what is wanted by the public, and lots of it, without always expecting something in return. Those sites that offer quality products that customers want for nothing are setting themselves up for success. You can do the same. What does your partner want from your relationship? What can you lovingly give from your mindset of compassion and understanding? What makes you a ‘must have’ person to be in relationship with in the same way that a website becomes a ‘must have’ site?

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GOOGLE has observed human behaviour at work, and has then been determined to offer a quality service to support that. It doesn’t criticize, ostracize, punish, avoid, harangue, blame, control, or persecute its patrons. It supports freedom of choice at every turn.

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Little wonder everyone loves it. Your partner will love you too if you bring these same qualities to your marriage or relationship. It’s not about always agreeing,being a doormat, or having no say. Rather, it’s about accepting and empowering your partner to be the best they can be, and to support yourself to do the same. GOOGLE knows that people can’t be controlled if GOOGLE is going to have a good relationship with them. Similarly, individuals seek autonomy and support for their uniqueness, and the best partners support such aspirations.